Attunement
Gilles Deleuze and Michel Foucault: two philosophers, for the sake of description, who many people grapple and struggle with. I was no different for a while. I was trying to pursue them intellectually. Head heavy. BRAIN POWER. But that's the wrong approach. They're more about feeling... more about attunement. Once I let go of the words and just sat with the ideas, what they were saying and communicating became far simpler to grasp. I realized that, honestly, there might not even be all that much for me to read. I seem to operate naturally with the lenses and diagnostic tools that each one wrote about and presented to the world. Living between spaces, in the cracks, comfortable with paradox, seeking sort of an Eastern "yin/yang" dialectical escape from the dominance of the West and Plato especially.
I've spent a lifetime navigating spaces that aren't mine and I also seem to read the room at a register that ranges from slightly different to most people to wildly different. It often leaves me feeling left out, lonely, and lost on an island to myself. For most of my life I viewed this as a defect. As a structural impediment. We all just want to acceptance, huh? Well, you aren't getting that from anyone or anything external until you've reckoned with the internal first, and that is what I am trying to accomplish.
And in reading and exploring Deleuze, Foucault, and others... I just realized this is how I already operate. I don't need the terminology or the concrete academic theory. It already operates.
Is that possible?
Drop me a line if you have a thought at signal@pinkbeam.xyz