Seeking Release!
Can I write? I'm 44 years old and most days it feels like I'm running out of time to write, publish, and express something of meaning or value to the world. When I say publish I do not mean to publish something of merit or be signed to an imprint or something. No, no, no! I mean to literally hit publish and have something I've shat out of my fingers reach someone, or at least have the potential to. Something vulnerable or polemic or expressing. A place to vent, practice a regular writing craft, grow in confidence, and maybe if I'm lucky connect to a community or just someone new. All my life all I've wanted to do is write. All I've ever dreamed of is writing. And yet I've always been intimidated to begin. Or I get caught writing endless maps and endless outlines and never stringing three sentences together. I want to PRESS PLAY for once! I want to fight the severe depression that has crippled me for virtually my entire adult life. Am I alone in wanting this? Am I too high on a blunt I smoked hours ago still? Or is this something I need to re-gain my sanity and finally live up to what I've dreamt up. Ha. Is dreamt not a word? Maybe I am high.
This post was a bit personal. If it resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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